Finding Your Voice Part 2

by Kelly Niven on February 24, 2014


Are you coming from your head or your heart? Are you coming from fear or love? And how do you get back to zero?

These were the 3 questions that summarised my last Toastmasters speech How to Find Your Voice”.

I thought I had cracked it – given a valuable life lesson to the Toastmasters newbies and veterans alike :-)

Then on the off chance an ex-Toastmaster/now professional speaker, and I got talking on the street outside the venue, after the meeting.  Synchronicity!!

I told him that (after my amazing speech :-) ) I wasn’t sure if Toastmaster was for me anymore.  I thought that perhaps it had served its purpose.

He told me that I was being cocky and that while my message had been strong, he saw some holes in what I was saying …………..

Thankfully, I respond well to peoples straight talking.  I listened to what he had to say.

Let me explain to you.

The message of my speech was simple.  You are either coming from your head or your heart.  This is true in life and when you are communicating (speaking or writing) with others.

When you come from the head, you are coming from ego.  This is deep routed in the emotion of fear.  When you come from this place, you are thinking about yourself.  What can I get?  What’s in it for me?  If you are before an audience you are preoccupied with how you look, how you are coming across.

When you come from the heart, you are connected to spirit.  This is creative energy and is deep routed in the emotion of love.  You are thinking about others and what you can give.  If you are before an audience, you are thinking about entertaining and connected with them. You want to feel them.

To find your voice and not merely speak you have to do what you can to get back to zero.  In life this means letting go of all the things that you think you “should” be doing.  Stop conforming to what society expects from you.  It means getting rid of emotional baggage, addictions, unhealthy relationships, dependencies and anything else that pulls you away from creative energy (read, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield).

When speaking (especially for those who have been at it awhile) it means taking all those tools that helped to remove the initial fear of standing in front of an audience and wiping the slate clean.  Visualisation, practice, preparation etc are all tools that help to overcome fear but they are crutch.  You can be an effective speaker (paid very well) and be coming from a place of fear.  This person is still afraid to be seen.

Anyway back to my story.

I was thinking that I had made my message clear and was feeling quite pleased with myself until of course the ex-member came and burst my bubble :-)

He said that whilst he agreed with much of what I said, you can not merely rely on inspiration.  He said he knew many people who had a ton of passion but struggled to articulate what they wanted to say.

So it got me thinking.  What is the link?

I know that when we come from the head, we can use the tools of the mind to create.  We can use visualisation, affirmations, practice, perseverance and action to manifest.  More often than not it leads us up the garden path.  I have ended up there more than once.

I also know that we can desire/will/want all we like and attempt to use the above tools to manifest and be met with a brick wall.  I have been there too and it is frustrating as hell.

At that place, we learn that we are not the sole creators of our lives.  It is not simply a matter of deciding what we want and going for it.  Well not if our soul has other plans for us.  We learn that there is a time for everything and we learn to surrender.

Welcome spirit :-) hello connection to a much larger force than you could ever have hoped to achieve on your own.  Once you have connected to your heart, you don’t ever want to leave.

End of the story, right?

Well not according to the sound advice from this man.  And he has a point! How many creative types fail to achieve what they want? How many never live up to their full potential?

So, what if the point is to get to zero, make sure you are connected and get inspired.  This is HOW you find your voice.

What you then do with it is entirely your own choice.  Maybe the manifestation tools of the mind can be used effectively to provide a far greater service and perhaps it can help to speed up the process (when the time is right).

We effectively become co-creators with our creator.

These are my thoughts, I will keep you posted.  For now, I will keep paying my Toastmasters membership :-)


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